i think it's strange you never knew

maybe i'll quit and become a lumberjack instead.

i didn't even have to use my AK

today was a decent day. nay, today was a good day. let's recap the goodness, yes yes?

• stayed in bed until 11:30 reading news online and listening to seabear.
• laughed a shit-load during class. it's fun getting coughter worked up, i swear.
  
• i saw a real-life hobo walking up canal st. yes, a hobo. he had a flannel shirt (sans sleeves), a black toboggan on his head, and [this is the most exciting part] he was carrying one of those sticks with all his worldly belongings tied to the end in a red handkerchief - like they do in the cartoons. i was driving kind of fast, but i swear i caught a glimpse of a rope-belt too.
• the fries at carytown burger.
• laura holmes dropping this little gem in my car: "you know what else bp stands for besides 'brad pitt'? baby penis."

le scaphandre et le papillon

i have a very hard time watching people on tv and in movies using razors. or holding razor blades. or holding sharp knives, or using cheese graters. i find it all to be very uncomfortable.

that's my only comment regarding the diving bell and the butterfly.

thank you.

don't you just wish

that you could lay in bed until noon listening to blonde redhead everyday?

so do i. so. do. i.

big barrels of fun

a frightening documentary look into the lives of the world's best donkey kong players. no, really. it's frightening because the level of nerdiness in this film far surpasses anything i've ever seen, ever.

two ordinary men tangle over the "world record" in donkey kong. egos fill the screen, and jedi comparisons are thrown around willy-nillily.

the most compelling part of this film was how these "championship" players carried themselves in an almost high-school bully with an inflated ego kind of way. the guy who had held the dk record for 24 years is a grade-a asshole, who happens to be surrounded by cronies that only wish for his record to stay put. their regression into pre-teen boys, bullying and mindfucking the decent-hearted record challenger, is almost too much to watch.

a must-see, especially if you want to feel like one of the cool kids. or you at least want to feel a little more normal/less like an asshole.

you've been drifting for a long long time

libelous acts of kindness

thank you to the green-penned note fairy that left this on my windshield. you made my day.

expiation

atonement.

starring keira knightley and james mcavoy.

fantastic, really. the movement through the storyline was especially good, the way it weaved in and out of past and present so effortlessly. a touch of soft-focus here, a dab of vivid coloring there. really well done.

especially inventive was the use of a typewriter-driven score throughout the film.

i give it an A -

oh, and i totally agree with [name removed] that the sex scene was "bonerific."

happy 50th, lego

today lego celebrates its 50th anniversary.

that's 50 years of kids learning by putting the colorful blocks together.

that's 50 years of children all over the world building their dreams out of blue, red, and yellow squares.

that's also 50 years of six-year-old boys in south carolina spending hours building a scale-model f-14 tomcat, only to have it destroyed when they run into the sliding glass door on their way outside to show their parents, who are sitting on the patio.

happy birthday.

april 11 is too far away

b. smoove

and with that purchase, any chance of me graduating in may decreased dramatically.

rambo(ner)

i jokingly referred to the new rambo film as "this season's light-hearted comedy." upon further thought, i am going to say that this moniker is actually not too far from the truth. seriously, this turd drips with comedic gold. here's why you should see it:

1. it clocks in at just over an hour and twenty minutes. that's 80 minutes of a jim henson workshop's version of stallone shooting arrows and .50 caliber rounds into any burmese bad guy he can find.

2. the laughs. holy shit there are a lot of laughs. ok, so most of them come from stallone's bond film reject one-liners, but still - a laugh-a-minute!

3. the amazing special effects. never have exposed intestines and exploding baddie's heads looked so real... and sooooo bloody/intestiney!

all my wildest dreams are coming true

the police did it.

then the spice girls.

even pink floyd did it.

now, people get ready, because according to people magazine, jordan, joey, donnie, danny, and jonathan are coming back, and they're gonna get to you gir-r-r-r-rl. that's right, new kids on the block are planning a reunion, and i haven't been this excited since hanson came to toad's place.

anatomy of a prank gone wrong

i am shit at pranks. fact.

in high school i used to pull pranks all the time. unfortunately they often ended with tears, or near-misses with the police. one prank in particular blew up in my face royally.

it was my senior year of high school, maybe 4 weeks before graduation. my friend holly was celebrating her birthday on a saturday... the same day she was going to pitch a home softball game in the district tournament.

driving down one of the roads near my neighborhood, i noticed a toilet left on the side of the road waiting to be picked up by a garbage crew. naturally i pulled over, and hoisted the toilet into the back of my truck. explaining to my folks why i had a toilet in the back of my truck was easy. explaining the smell to my friends was a little bit wonky.

the plan was to take the toilet and place it on the pitchers' mound of the field where holly would be playing. late friday night, the toilet was placed in its designated position. early saturday morning, however, the toilet was moved.

right into the parking spot of our principal.

needless to say, a weeks worth of detention ended any possibility of a toilet prank sequel.

random (hungover going to panera, best buy and the abc store) playlist

january 26, 2008

1. billy joel - captain jack
2. ween - zoloft
3. rem - man on the moon
4. my morning jacket - xmas curtain
   
5. damien rice - delicate
6. playradioplay - complement each other like colors
7. misfits - hybrid moments
8. mason jennings - adrian
9. brian eno - 2/1
10. endochine - a new beginning
    

more than meets the eye

turns out megatron lives in new zealand now. who knew?

"an unemployed man of no fixed abode pleaded guilty in wellington district court today to importing LSD and ecstasy. judge denys barry remanded megatron eardley- wilmot in custody for sentencing in the high court on february 22. the offences were committed between 2003 and 2005." - nzpa

will we feel like this for the rest of our lives?

dear my body,

hi. listen, old friend - i know that i've been really lazy, and i haven't worked out nearly as much as i should've during the past, oh, i don't know, 3 years, but i seriously can't believe how sore you are already. and after just one itsy bitsy rugby practice.

come on!

we used to ball it up, remember? we'd play a match on saturday, destroy some booze that night, and by monday we'd be ready to kick it. sure, there'd be some taco bell in there somewhere, and maybe a mad dog 20/20 or two. but we always got along like gangbusters, no matter how much abuse i put you through.

if this is your way of telling me that we're getting too old for this shit, then i'll be quick to point out 1) we're not danny glover, and 2) we're only 25. guys play rugby into their late 20's... sometimes early 30's!

can you hang in there for just a few more months? if so, i guarantee* this is my last dance with rugby for-ev-er.

yours,
pat

p.s. see you in the kitchen, old sport.

*not a guarantee

how long must one boy wait

my morning jacket - golden

some nights, i swear, there was magic in the air

credit: Stéphane Guisard

"goodbye sobriety," said ryan adams

creativity magazine's number one ad school

comb weapons

class is boring.

let's skip friday speaker. and monday altogether.

[click for a full-size look]

awkward overheard things from today

"i don't need to wash my hands. i took a shower a couple of hours ago."

"zac effron makes my peenie go brooooooomp."

"i don't think wanting to makeout with paul rudd makes me gay. at all."

"go away or i will hate crime your ass."

ok, so i wouldn't exactly go so far as to say i "overheard" these things, as much as i "said" them. or whatever.