yahoo! is my abusive boyfriend

eighty-eight minutes i'll never get back

don't go see 88 minutes. seriously. it was two hours of horrible acting, retardedly unbelievable plot twists, and al pacino's ridiculous hairpiece yelling lines at the camera.

i think pacino is a terrible actor. not only does he scream 94% of his lines, but he also dresses like it's 1994, and really hams up every fucking scene he's in.

oh, and for the record, scarface sucked. you're only kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

dear christian singer disguised as a legitimate artist on the radio,

how dare you grab my attention, with your pleasant voice and deep emotional lyrics, only to blindside me with all that God stuff. you should be ashamed of yourself. i mean, you might actually have had a shot at making it with real music. you didn't have to sell out to the Man. i'm disappointed in you.

yours,
pat

p.s. the line "you're in me," when talking directly to J.C., is disgusting. seriously.

welcome freshmen

fade into you, by mazzy star, was produced fifteen years ago. that means there are people driving on the road today that weren't alive when this song was written, recorded in a studio, or played during the class of 1993's senior prom.

trip the light fantastic

the best songs, ever

6. take on me by aha - i believe that the only official time guys are allowed to sing like they got hit in the penis, and get away with it, is when this song's playing.

5. take me home tonight by eddie money - who's ronnie? what exactly did she sing that i'm supposed to remember? who cares. this song will rock your face off... in a 1987 kind of way.

4. hangin' on the telephone by blondie - debbie harry was a really hot crazy phone stalker. then she got really into blow/old/ugly.

3. stick shifts and safety belts by cake - true story: simply speaking the chorus of this song in front of my roommate at dulles airport will get it stuck in his head for an entire day. it's that good.

2. in the air tonight by phil collins - i don't have to explain this one.

1. africa by toto - for a song whose lyrics seem so descriptive, i have no idea what it's about. at all. but whoever this african chick is, she must have been foxy as shit to inspire this classic. sweet sassy molassey i love this track.

twenty two fourteen

after prom super mega playlist

1. jackson browne - somebody's baby
2. eddie money - take me home tonight
3. mark ronson - valerie
4. gnarls barkley - blind mary
5. shinichi osawa - star guitar
6. white rabbits - the plot
7. the go! team - huddle formation
8. okkervil river - plus ones
9. peter bjorn and john - the chills
10. ween - blue balloon
    

dig 'em

you know i love stupid people. especially stupid people that change their name to something that really expresses their stupidity. meet peter thomas:

peter, a resident of brighton, england, loves the cereal sugar puffs. how much does he love it? too much is the correct answer.

he recently had his name legally changed to "honey monster." honey monster - the name of the cereal's mascot. honey monster. honey monnnnnnnnster. i'm gonna go.