portland. day 12.

a lot of people have been asking me what portland's like.

well, everyday is filled with dancing and singing, not too different from this video:

don't be pissed because your own fans hate you

portland. day four.

last week it was 102º F in virginia. today, portland's temperature topped out at 63.

i don't think i'm ever going back.

hope you're all well and good.

lucky charms

there's a new marshmallow charm in everyone's favorite cereal: the hourglass. lame.

hurray.

some nerdy kid spelled a word that most of us have never heard of to win the national spelling bee. which was broadcast live on network television. which was also reported on by thousands of people across the country (and world??).

i find the media blitz surrounding this goofy bastard almost as disgusting as showing high school baseball games on national television. or those 3-hour specials on espn showcasing which college different high school football players are going to attend.

no wonder we're a bunch of entitled crybabies.

great scott!

fire destroyed the courthouse square set from back to the future. tis a sad day, indeed.

33-21

could this be the year?

goodbye brandcenter, hello mountains

lost mountain, virginia

remember good weezer?

this ain't it. although it's close to their older (and not embarrassing) stuff.

despite the sound, this video is just plain weak. a video using a bunch of youtube characters? creative!

we are this low

i was called a "regular" for the first time in my life at any establishment.

too bad it was 7-eleven.

good news fellow catholics

the vatican says it's ok for us to believe in aliens.

according to rev. jose gabriel funes, director of the vatican observatory, the universe is just too vast to rule out the possibility of other intelligent life.

so that means i can continue to go to those pink floyd laser light shows without spending an eternity in purgatory. whew.

i'm due for a C list encounter

during the last couple of weeks there has been an extreme upswing in the number of celebrity encounters amongst my friends. it started with my friend from back home, matt, who recently moved to los angeles. about three weeks ago matt IM'd me to tell me his exciting news - he had finally met his idol, rick ro$$, at a party.

now i'm not saying the bo$$ is a C list celebrity. what i am saying is that after matt's encounter, the level of celebrity interactions amongst those near and dear to me have kind of, well, dropped significantly.

just last week my friend logan texted me with her exciting news. in the bar where she was participating in pub trivia sat none-other-than the original becky from tv's roseanne. wasted. i won't lie – becky number two was my favorite. but it is nice to know that number one is still kicking it around nyc, drinking like john goodman.

then there was yesterday morning when i woke up to find a text message my cousin john rounding out the celebrity trifecta. i immediately texted him back to find out the details. hours later he calls.

"i got wasted with smalls from the sandlot," he said. i was more excited about this than when i got asked to fill out a survey on hollywood blvd by the guy that played roofio on hook. or the time gary sinise told me not to curse in front of his daughter at disney world. or even more than the time i followed the drummer from hootie and the blowfish around the grocery store to see what kind of cereal he bought.

seriously though, who the fuck else eats product 19?

i miss last summer

things to note while watching:

• the tightness of the bass player's jeans.
• the complete lack of a solid storyline. seriously, what the fuck is going on here?
• the giant book that the band is performing on.
• how ugly Toto was. top 5 ugliest bands ever, i think.
  

a public apology

please accept my sincerest apologies for when i said iron eagle 2 is the best movie ever. i mispoke. cool runnings is, in fact, the best movie ever. please forgive me.

painful thoughts i had today

• having my big toe ripped off
• getting stabbed in the eye with a ball point pin
• having a scoop of my bicep taken out with an ice cream scoop
• getting a nerf dart stuck to my eyeball (having to pull it off)

yahoo! is my abusive boyfriend

eighty-eight minutes i'll never get back

don't go see 88 minutes. seriously. it was two hours of horrible acting, retardedly unbelievable plot twists, and al pacino's ridiculous hairpiece yelling lines at the camera.

i think pacino is a terrible actor. not only does he scream 94% of his lines, but he also dresses like it's 1994, and really hams up every fucking scene he's in.

oh, and for the record, scarface sucked. you're only kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

dear christian singer disguised as a legitimate artist on the radio,

how dare you grab my attention, with your pleasant voice and deep emotional lyrics, only to blindside me with all that God stuff. you should be ashamed of yourself. i mean, you might actually have had a shot at making it with real music. you didn't have to sell out to the Man. i'm disappointed in you.

yours,
pat

p.s. the line "you're in me," when talking directly to J.C., is disgusting. seriously.

welcome freshmen

fade into you, by mazzy star, was produced fifteen years ago. that means there are people driving on the road today that weren't alive when this song was written, recorded in a studio, or played during the class of 1993's senior prom.

trip the light fantastic

the best songs, ever

6. take on me by aha - i believe that the only official time guys are allowed to sing like they got hit in the penis, and get away with it, is when this song's playing.

5. take me home tonight by eddie money - who's ronnie? what exactly did she sing that i'm supposed to remember? who cares. this song will rock your face off... in a 1987 kind of way.

4. hangin' on the telephone by blondie - debbie harry was a really hot crazy phone stalker. then she got really into blow/old/ugly.

3. stick shifts and safety belts by cake - true story: simply speaking the chorus of this song in front of my roommate at dulles airport will get it stuck in his head for an entire day. it's that good.

2. in the air tonight by phil collins - i don't have to explain this one.

1. africa by toto - for a song whose lyrics seem so descriptive, i have no idea what it's about. at all. but whoever this african chick is, she must have been foxy as shit to inspire this classic. sweet sassy molassey i love this track.

twenty two fourteen

after prom super mega playlist

1. jackson browne - somebody's baby
2. eddie money - take me home tonight
3. mark ronson - valerie
4. gnarls barkley - blind mary
5. shinichi osawa - star guitar
6. white rabbits - the plot
7. the go! team - huddle formation
8. okkervil river - plus ones
9. peter bjorn and john - the chills
10. ween - blue balloon