growing up is the worst

last night, while i was at home, i got to hang out with my best friend from high school, will. i can always count on him for two things: 1) he keeps me grounded, regardless of where my ego starts to take me; and 2) he always reminds me of how fragile life is. you see, will's dad fought in the first gulf war with the u.s. army rangers, and now suffers from a debilitating case of gulf war syndrome. at just around 50 years old, will's dad can no longer hear, cannot walk on his own, and cannot perform basic human functions without great aid. when i first met him, will's dad was a solid ex-military specimen, with a vise-like grip. one month ago he was placed in an assisted living facility. his condition had taken its toll, not only his body, but also on the bodies and minds of his family.

we sat on will's couch, watching a television show packed full of the greatest home video follies, lazing away the night. the fragility of our lives never once crossed our minds. then came a montage of elderly people stumbling, tripping, slipping, and falling, all to the beat of some random song. the audience roared with laughter, while an overwhelming sense of guilt hit me. before i know it, i'll wake up at 50, and wonder where the fuck my life went. luckily i'll be able to look back at those hours spent in front of the tv, or spent behind a desk, or spent thinking about people who don't give a shit about me, or spent complaining. at least i'll have those memories.

soundtrack
snow patrol - somewhere a clock is ticking