my friday evening in the e.r.

instead of enjoying friday happy hour drinks, i was enjoying a gurney in the mcv emergency room. here's what else i enjoyed (in no particular order):

• two fractured fingers on my right hand, which undoubtedly puts my bowling career in jeopardy.
• no less than six doctors telling me the x-rays of my hand were "impressive" (i don't know what they meant either).
• four different people vomiting blood (i may or may not have contracted the ebola virus tonight...)
• one sixty-year-old woman, who sounded like rocko's snail friend from "rocko's modern life," describing how she has to scoop golf ball shaped pieces of poop out of her own rectum because she is that constipated.
• one real-life gunshot wound being wheeled by me.
• one orange jumpsuit-clad inmate shackled to a bench, surrounded by u.s. marshalls, having his temperature taken by a nurse. and no, it wasn't wesley snipes.
• two female doctors prescribing me to "take up swimming," where the risk of injury is much less than with rugby.

oh, and of course, now i'll be enjoying four weeks of not being able to play rugby. doctor's orders.